I broke down and did it...
I went and put a my space profile together. I don't really have too much time to work on it, but if you are interested, here you go...
http://www.myspace.com/tina453 , feel free to add me as a friend :)
Disturbingly true...
Aaron was kind enough to record an episode of Oprah for me that had Pink as a feature. I have always loved Pink, what she has to say is interesting and funny. My favorite combo.
After watching it, I can see how true things that Oprah, Pink and a few other guests had to say. They were discussing Pinks new song "Stupid Girls" and how it is common for women to dumb themselves down for various reasons. I wish this wasn't true, however I can testify to the fact that it is.
I'm not trying to sound full of myself, those who truly know me know that is very far from the truth. However, I am a very smart individual, I have a sickenly high IQ and fairly good common sense. I am also guilty of dumbing myself down to make others around me feel better about themselves.
At work I was most guilty of this. I felt strange always having the answer and getting strange looks from the older men in my former company. I would pretend to not know the answer to something or to even give the wrong answer. Just to make someone else feel better about themselves so they could "educate" me. I wish I didn't do it, and even at the time of opening my mouth, I knew I shouldn't do it.
When I would always have the answer, I would get looks and then people would start talking about me. Saying I was a know it all or full of myself. That is far from the case. I love for people to tell me I am wrong, I know it sounds strange. But I do like it, it gives me an opportunity to learn something new and educate myself.
At my new job, I promised myself I wouldn't do that. If I know the answer, I am speaking up. If I see something that is wrong, I try to find a solution. It has already hurt me. I have people yet again saying that I am too smart, etc. When did it become so wrong to have answers? When did it become wrong to be smart? Thankfully my boss loves that I have a brain and like to use it. He is constantly telling me that he appreciates my thoughts and the fact I try to use my head. It is my co-workers who have issue with this. There is one man who constantly says to me that he feels sorry for my husband. He says it in a jokingly way, however I do know what he means. He has a wife who doesn't disagree with him or challenge him in any way. He deals with me, wanting to know why and learn how things are done and he thinks it's insane, he can't handle a woman challenging him in any way. I also have two women in my office who get angry because I use my head. OK, I can understand part of it, I'm the new person. There is a territory issue, etc. But will it end? Why would someone have issue with someone else using their brain? If this problem is prevalent everywhere else, I can see why women will dumb themselves down to make their lives easier.
There is a man who started at my company just a few weeks ago. He does the same thing I do, asking questions and suggesting solutions. He isn't challenged by any co-workers, it is fine that he is using his brain. This is absolutely INSANE to me.
An afterthought that I just had, what is interesting is more American men have an issue with me in my new company. The Western European men love me speaking up and using my head. The man who makes the comments about me being to smart and feeling sorry for my husband is Russian. Is this a cultural problem or world wide and I am lucky that my French boss likes someone who challenges the norm. Just a thought to twist around in your head.
Playing catch up...
So many things have been going on in the past few months, I doubt I can touch on them all. First off, I got a new job :) WOO! Finally. I started on Feb. 6th and have really liked it so far. It is right up my ally, I will be heading up the Customer Service department for a manufacturing company, along with developing new marketing strategies and their website and linking in ordering with it. So, LOTS of stuff. Which is what I really like. I need to stay busy and have multiple things to do.
On the sadder side of things, my grandmother past away on February 1st. So I had to head to NJ and go to the funeral with my parents. Aaron stayed home, I do wish he had been able to be there though, just to have another shoulder to lean on. I got to see my cousin I hadn't seen in years due to his drug use. I had heard he was clean for a little bit, however after seeing him and learning a few new things, he is definitely not clean. It took all my will power to not tell him off. I was about 2 seconds from doing it and someone walked in on us chatting. I doubt he needs another person telling him what they think, but I need to do it for me. It just breaks my heart, to the core, to see what he has done to himself. He is an amazingly talented musician, he is actually friends with some people who I would kill to see live, just haven't yet due to their touring schedule. I just wish this guy would kick some sense into him. He said he is starting a new band, two guitars & a violin. I might hit up Charleston one weekend this summer to see him play live. I'm not sure if it's good or not that he is a functioning drug addict! Imagine what he could become if he was clean and sober for a while, the possibilities for him would be endless.
I have come to the very sad and disturbing realization that my father will never be the same again and he is going to die a very bitter and depressed man. I wont even begin to attempt to explain what has happened to him over the past 15 years, but it changed him permanently and I have finally realized the dad I used to know if forever gone. No hope at all that he will ever come back. I'm not even sure prescription anti-depressants would work at this point. Even though he desperately needs them. According to him, this is all just getting old. Don't you know, every guy at 74 is a bitter and mean old man who no one wants around or socialize with.
On the funny happy side... I now know 5 women who are pregnant, and 4 of them are having GIRLS! The 5th hasn't found out yet and isn't sure if she wants to. WHAT IS IN THE WATER! How freaky! There is a 50/50 shot! Too strange :)
That is all I have for now, I hope to be posting more soon, hopefully I'll be more in the mood :)
Much love...
New Tat...
I just came up with a new tattoo that I want. Something that is going to close out the past 30 years of my life and help me start the next 30. I know, sounds corny. But the past few years (about 10) have been way too hard... I want them to have a finality and to begin again.
Whenever I can do it, I'll post some pics.
I haven't posted much lately, sorry. I just have had too much to say and nothing at the same time. It's been a super shitty few months and I don't want that negativity I am going through right now to be a permanent marker out there. I want to get past all this and just forget about it. So, nothing personal, I love you guys and miss you all. I'm going to be back in the game soon!
cause I want you to check it out....
Rosalie has updated her site for some new items and ideas for the holidays... so go check out
www.formsofexpression.com the only limit is your imagination :)
